Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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