Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
