He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize