Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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