No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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