My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
