I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
