I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize