he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
