So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
