wanna go halves on a baby?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
