I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize