He is such a slut. More and more my type.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
