And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Randomize
