he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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