I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
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