first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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