I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
