summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
