On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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