how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
