I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
