No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
