I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
