I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
40s are totally the cure
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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