OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
