i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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