Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
