I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
