And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize