hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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