I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's official drugs can't kill me
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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