Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
