On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
A bitchslap is in order.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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