yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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