Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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