my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sex in a hospital.. check
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
