My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
a search helicopter?!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize