There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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