Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
