We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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