O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
