i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
