Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
