I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
