He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
