Already got asked if we're dating
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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