We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
