This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize