I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
bring money and cleavage
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
