We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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