Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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