I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
