there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
