I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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