There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
