i think my tv is drunk
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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