don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
