my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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