It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
