After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
