what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
