nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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