evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
